So this is my life and I want you to know that I am both happy and sad

I just got back from church camp [Sky Lake]. It was an amazing expirence, like always.

And I was going to write this long evaluation. All about how amazing it was to see everyone caring, everyone so loving. To be close to God for the first time in my life.

But then I find something out.

My friend Austin died.

The day I left for camp. [Sunday].

Only about two miles from my house. Maybe a mile from work.

It's so weird.

He's dead.

A car crash. Passed someone and didn't see the other car in the other lane.

Just like that.

He's dead.

So many people hurting.

It's weird.

I go back to school in 18 days, and Austin won't be there.

Part of me is convinced that I will walk on the bus and see Austin sleeping, his crappy little MP3 player on his lap, his mouth wide open, hair everywhere. An arrow on his pants that I drew two years ago.

During camp there was this one kid, Nathen.

He looked like Austin.

I want to go back to camp. To talk to Jim.

Just for some help.

It's really weird.

I'm thinking about Austin in past tense.

He's dead.

Just 'cause of one tiny thing.